Survey #309—Full Response from Linds
| Pronouns | She/her |
|---|---|
| Describe an organizing project or task that you left incomplete because it wasn’t going the way you envisioned. What expectations had you set that you weren’t able to satisfy? | I’ve been trying to work on emptying a house of which four generations of us have lived here going back to 1902. I am the last of the family who wants to live hereand I’m 72 years old. Over the years I’ve gotten rid of dumpster loads of things from the attic work done some of the basement floor. Three of the five rooms are actually inhabited and only two look like normal basements. As much as I’ve gotten rid of things there’s still too much furniture here the wall of my bedroom has my mother‘s bedroom set with the dresser up here with a mirror a bookcase and a cedar closet and oh yes, the bed. I’ve always liked the bedroom set, which is why when she passed away I kept it back in the 40s. They made wonderful deep drawers in this house only has one remaining closet. There’s also the bedroom set my sister and I shared his children here. It also has a dresser a bureau with a mirror and a matching desk which I actually use for my computer. It’s in a teeny teeny room. I often feel as though the walls close in on me I can sometimes get drawers Decluttered for this project of getting my house ready for me to not pass on to the next generation at some point, My Daughter has her own house in a different city and she may be leaving the country in a year to work on her PhD and isn’t sure what she’s gonna be doing with her existing home, let alone mine. I’m a widow and trying to deal with all of this myself. My mobility is not what it used to be. I broke a leg in April 2025 and had a hip replacement in March 2026 and I have two surgeons who are dying to do a knee replacement and a shoulder replacement as soon as I decide the pain is too bad. This project of mine just isn’t going as quickly as I wished there’s been a sidetrack of taking five rooms of furniture and shoving it into four because we have we are in the process as of yesterday are removing all the carpeting because I have a cat who’s decided not to use a litter box or putting down vinyl tiles as that’s within my price range and I hired someone to do that. When you have to move the furniture around to get to the floors, you really realize how much there is I have trouble getting rid of the furniture. I like the set we had as children. It’s a lovely light colored oak, but the drawers are knackered two of them. I can’t really use because the runners aren’t working properly and my desk drawers starting to come apart. I feel a responsibility to the house and it’s preventing me from moving forward. I have a brother who lives in a nearby town and he’s somewhat of a pack. Rat doesn’t let go of anything. It’s a matter of fact his Paul Bunyan bed is up in my attic because even though it was broken, do you know what I paid for that he said and he put it in there shortly after my mother died I couldn’t stop him. I’m the youngest of three and he’s the eldest and he yells louder than I do so it’s up in my attic when I emptied everything out. I left it up there if he passes away before me then I’ll get rid of it. I die before him. Oh well. Why are we so attached to the furniture? Yeah the bedroom set as my mother’s. I actually would love to get rid of the entire bedroom set and by myself, a twin bed with a wide iron frame, light and lovely looking and maybe get just a small dresser and downsize my clothing as well. I haven’t gotten rid of my husband‘s desk he’s been dead for six years. It has a glass top. I have a cat that loves to lay on that glass table because it’s nice and cool and there’s no air-conditioning down here. I can’t get rid of the table cause it’s being used by the cat. I can’t get rid of my bedroom set because of My Brother finds out he’ll hit the roof. I just don’t know what to do. |
| How do your initial expectations regarding the time, energy, and emotional effort needed for a decluttering project usually compare to the reality of the actual process? | I thought I would make logical choices. I’m not using this so it can go. I don’t like this so that can go. This is still good. I’ll get it down to Goodwill. I don’t drive but I have friends who go there frequently and they come by and take my things away. I seem to be better at getting rid of my things and my late husbands things. But I was raised in this house. I look at something and that belongs to dad or this belong to mom or that was Nonnie‘s. I feel such a responsibility and I know that you say that your grandmother is not a teacup but today I just spent an hour rearranging everything that was in that China hutch on one of the rooms that was being worked on because in order to move the hutch we had to take everything out and put in on the dining room table. I’ve just put away 15 tea cups. I have all the time in the world to do things cause I’m retired. I don’t have as much energy as I used to, but even that’s not a big deal if I do a little bit each day it can be done. I mentioned I’m a widow so I live alone and I don’t really have enough emotional bandwidth at the moment. It’s just so darn difficult. I didn’t choose to be the last one this house. I was gone for 40 years but came back when mom and dad needed me with my husband all the way from Scotland. So I’m the last one standing who’s living here my sister moved away to North Carolina. My Brother is about a 20 minute car ride from here. He doesn’t know I cleaned out the attic five nearly 5 years ago and just put a dumpster outside and threw things out the window cause I only had two weeks of vacation in which to get it emptied to put a new gas furnace up in the attic to service the top floor of my rental unit. My house has four floors the basement and the first floor I live on my tenant is on the second floor and then there’s an attic half of which is the there for the use of the tenant and half is mine. The house is so damn big. There’s so much in it still and I’ve been working on it for the last 25 years on and off.since I came back from Scotland. |
| What “real-world” factors tend to interfere with your decluttering and organizing tasks or projects and keep you from meeting the expectations you’ve set? | I have plenty of time but mobility issues, and I have such difficulty getting rid of all of these things that have such an emotional pull. And I feel all alone doing this. I can’t afford to hire anyone and there’s parts of my home that are just embarrassing because of just the furniture clutter. Things don’t look bad but there’s too much furniture. This house was built in 1897. The rooms are tiny. There were only two closets in the entire portion of the house that belonged to my family and after we three kids grew up and moved away. My father took one of the closets, removed the rod and put shelves as it became my mother‘s craft room. I know I could take the shelves out and put another fraud, but I actually need the storage room as well for various and century things I feel stuck. I want to get rid of nearly everything. I laughed because my daughter’s mother-in-law referred to me as a minimalist, and I laughed and laughed. I would love to be a minimalist. I would love to have spacious rooms with very little in them. I guess she thought that because my dining room and my living room have very little in them, but the bedroom and the office are full of furniture that cover all of the walls. She saw the dining room and she saw the living room dining room had a cat tree in one corner an antique couch and antique table that was it. The living room had an antique rocker a Lyft recliner chair and an antique bookcase. Somehow I was able to get those rooms down to just a few things, but I have difficulty in my bedroom and in my office. |
| Here’s your chance to ask Gayle and Ed any question you’re curious about. It need not be related to this survey’s topic(s). If we think that your question—and our answer—might be useful or instructive to The Clutter Fairy Weekly audience, we’ll share them in an upcoming episode. | How do people finally act on the things that their logic tells them they need to do when their heart is telling them no? I know these things have to leave my house. I pride myself the majority of my life. I am quite logical. But there’s a pull here of all of the ghosts of those who lived and loved here. I cannot seem to make my mind stay logical. Somehow logic escapes me here. I did fairly well after my mom passed away. I was able to get rid of so many things. Nearly everything in that attic went into a dumpster even good things cause I didn’t have time to take them to Goodwill, beautiful dinnerware and cookware and glassware that my mother had received as gifts and never used because they were too nice, no one ever used these things. It broke my heart to throw them out the window into the dumpster. Help. Is there something magical you can say that will flip the switch from emotion to logic? |
| Future topics | I suppose I would refer back to my last question that I’ve answered. How do you flip the switch from the emotional part of your brain to the logical side? I know what needs to be done, but I can’t make myself do it. So frustrating. |
Be the first to comment!
Comment on this survey response
Please use the form below to share a comment on this survey response. We ask that you keep your comments courteous and respectful. Polite disagreement is fine, but abusive language won’t be tolerated. Your comment will be held briefly for moderation after submission.
"*" indicates required fields
