Survey #271 results
| Name (click to view full survey response and comments) | Think about an item that you received as a gift and have struggled to part with. What factors—thoughts, feelings, memories, stories, beliefs, etc.—make (or made) it difficult for you to decide to let this item go? | What’s your favorite clutter-conscious gift to give (for example: gift cards; event tickets; food, drinks, or other consumables; subscriptions; and so on), and why? What’s your favorite clutter-conscious gift to receive, and why? |
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| L | Years ago, when my husband and I were still exchanging gifts on Christmas, he asked me what I would like as a gift. I said a bread maker. I'm not sure why I said that because I don't enjoy baking or cooking! So, he spent $200 on a bread maker. I've never used it and don't intend to, yet I won't get rid of it. There are a number of feelings involved in this item. I asked for it (why?), I feel guilty about the amount of money spent on it (sunk cost). OMG, let it go! | Consumables for sure, both receiving and giving. Food and drinks for sure! |
| Katharine | Knowing my Mom picked it out for me and now has passed away. She’s not around and I miss our conversations. I’ve taken pics and remind myself that it’s ok to let go. She wouldn’t want me to feel guilty about removing items that are no longer helpful to me. I still have glassware on display in my cabinet. I leave it mainly since it sits there and it doesn’t bother me. I’m trying to determine the reason to keep or not. Eventually I’ll have to decide and right now I don’t. | Cash or favorite restaurant gift card. |
| Kate | On receiving a gift it is the thought that counts and what you do afterwards is up to the person receiving it. You express gratitude at the time but due to certain circumstances it may have to be parted with. You may move and not have a suitable place to display the gift or you may change your preference for eg music or artworks, books etc so rather than stuffing the gift away in a cupboard with no one to enjoy it better to donate and give someone else the chance for joy. | My friend knowing we are reducing items in our house always gives us a gift card, much appreciated. Another sends a lottery ticket. I am also giving lottery ticket/gift cards etc. |
| Anita | I think if my daughters buy me anything. I think I want them to feel they’ve done well. Other friends and relatives I’m not so emotional about. Although I have struggled with a big toy eyore from Winnie the Pooh that my sister got me from Woolworths. I think it makes me too many things.. as it was from a shop many Brits loved which sadly closed down…. So there are memories of shopping with my sister to that shop and so it was an overall experience. I think I might take a photo and give it away. | I prefer subscriptions but think it is too expensive as a gift. I also like events however many ticket companies are now making it difficult to send tickets to other people, some concerts I have booked the person who books it must attend too. Which I don’t want to attend. My husband got me a cinema subscription but we didn’t get a chance to make use of it. Gift cards although nice often sit in my purse for ages before I see what I want. Consumables are ok but Christmas I’m often sitting with several boxes of chocolates ( (I have to force myself to eat through them 😆). Yes I could give some away but I find everyone is the same working their way through the tins etc of chocolate. I’m allergic to many soaps and perfumes. Sometimes I think an object is cheaper and can still convey a message. Also although wasteful… easier to give away? |
| Tracy Lee | It's a lovely silky dress, I received from my granddaughters. I knew they went to a pretty fancy thrift shop for school clothes. It made me sad I couldn't be with them as I had done for many yrs. It pleased me so they had carried the thought of me with them. I wore the bright flowered (synched at the waist) knee length dress just a few times. However each time I felt like a million bucks, both from the inside & out. I now longer wear the dress. With added belly fat, the dress hangs in the back of my closet. My daughter their mom & I are not as close as we were at that time, Therefore, the girls & I are not allowed the opportunity to be together as often as we'd like. Our relationships have changed, my body has changed. Perhaps I'm holding on to the dress, as a since of some control, but I believe it's there because represents HOPE. | I still give framed photo prints. A 4x6 (or a bit larger) of a special event, person or pet. Its cost effective for me & takes no space hung on the wall. |
| Nancy | Our daughter gave us a glass dish that can be a punch bowl or a cake stand with cover. I’d hate to completely get rid of it, because if I make my special spice cake, my daughter will expect to see it. | If I don’t have something specific in mind for someone, I give gift cards or take the person out for a nice meal. My favorite gifts to receive are the same: gift cards, cash, or a nice meal out. |
| Lise | I received a hand made doll from a friend/former roommate. I know the time and effort she put in making it and I greatly appreciate it. However, I really do not want to continue maintaining/storing it and really have a hard time letting it go. Silly - huh?! | A favorite clutter-conscious gift to give and receive is dinner out or a special recipe at home. We can share the time with family/friends having some good food, good laughs and stories to remember. |
| Leana | I have a few items we received from friends in Poland. I have donated some, but one is a piece of jewelry that has an inscription on it. Because of the inscription (which is on the back of the pendant but is large, so not subtle) it doesn't seem suitable for donating - only sellable for the silver content, I think. Otherwise I don't think I would have trouble partiing with it. | Gifting is not my "love language." We do still give specialty caramel corn to a niece because she sends Christmas cookies. Over many years we tried a number of consumables - calendars, gift cards, donations to causes, and more recently just cash. Postage for calendars became too high - more than the cost of the calendar. Donations to causes didn't seem to go over so well. Never know what gift card would be appropriate for who because we are not geographically close to anyone we would gift to. Have mostly given up gifting; my husband set a cut-off age of 18 a few years ago. And that does seem to have helped stem the flow of gifts into our house, most of which get donated (if not edible ;). (Don't have kids or grandkids.) |
| Roberta | I received a beautiful piece of artwork, which I loved and struggled to let go of for years. Because it was so beautiful and had wanted it so badly, it took a long time to set it free. | I love to give and receive chocolate. |
| Jeanne | A toy wagonfor my flower garden from DDH. I have not tried to let it go and will remain in the garden after I am gone. I have let many many items of Alan’s go. To family, organizations, and his friends. I have done large amounts in spurts, then rest awhile emotionally before another session. Finding his baby bracelet broke me for days. An artist friend is going to bead a bracelet for me incorporating the tiny beads. | I love to receive homemade jams or jellies, since I no longer make these items. They are instantly devoured by sons, and the jars are washed and returned. |
| Leslie | Guilt or possibly getting criticism from the person that gave me the gift | Event tickets, restaurant gift cards or taking the person out to eat together and make it a social outing. |
| Em | Whoops! I don't struggle to part with anything. I simply keep what I like and regift or donate what I don't like. My problem is that I like too many things.(Therefore, I follow The Clutter Fairy.) One item I "should" part with is a blouse my older brother bought for me the year I went away to college, back in the days when clothing had to be ironed and college kids did laundry in a sink or bathtub when money was short.. He gave me two blouses. I wore out one, but I still have the one in the color that is not good on me. I remember him leaning over to Mother after I opened the package, telling her that he'd chosen these because they don't need ironing. (This new fabric was called Perma Press!) The blouse hangs in my laundry room today as wall decoration, prompting gratitude for the luxury of a washer and dryer, and reminding me of the thoughtfulness and sweetness of my brother, who, as a young college man knowing what his little sister was facing with college, had learned how troublesome and time-consuming ironing is. The gift expressed caring and respect he had never verbalized. | For years, I made cute certificates on the computer, called "Mending Money." Each had an amount on it, which may have been something like,"Good for hemming of 6 pairs of trousers or the equivalent," or "Redeemable for repair of the jacket you spilled bleach on." I may have had a list of options, including hole repair, zipper replacement, and ripped seams. I could also have put a dollar amount, to then estimate the value of the job from the prices of local dry cleaners and tailors. People were thrilled to receive these. I don't think any went unredeemed. The downside of this gift was that family members would bring a pile of mending to holiday gatherings and expect me to do them on the spot, missing the party! I had to change my ways: "Some restrictions apply." I would love to receive job certificates similar to what I gave. I could use help with deep cleaning, assessing if certain pieces of clothing should be kept, rearranging the living room, polishing my furniture and floors or doing white laundry (because I am allergic to the waxes and bleach), repotting plants, decluttering, repairing household items, taking me for a hike or window shopping, picking up groceries for me each month, or even an invite for tea. Some of these jobs would help undo the logjam created by being unable to do the job alone; others would give me the gift of the presence of the giver--human contact: the most precious gift there is. |
| Carla | The dining table of chairs from my mother in law. Very practical at the time, but now I hate it, but it would be a waste to replace it. We are too old anyways, and my husband would never let me. On the other hand we have had good celebrations with this practical table. It pulls out to serve 10 people. | I like to give candles and decorative dishcloths or jams or chocolates. Or book vouchers. I like getting those too. |
| Sandra | Office Christmas gift exchange back in the day: our boss had picked my name and I received a super pretty glass dish from a very expensive store. Problem is that boss was not a likable person, yet because it was a beautiful and fancy object, I moved with it several times and I kept it for maybe 25 years, being reminded of that boss every time I saw that dish that I used to fill up empty space on a shelf (sigh). What a relief when I finally gave that gift away to someone who had neutral feelings about it. I'm a bit sorry I needed Gayle to move on. Doing much better now! | It was a big thing in my family to stop exchanging gifts at Christmas and birthdays. We still give things to each other but throughout the year when we see something the other person would like or need, so there is less pressure to find the perfect gift to fit the occasion... and less pressure to keep the item in case it didn't quite hit the mark. Otherwise, wine is a our favorite clutter-conscious gift! |
| Anonymous user | A box w a small handkerchief with an embroidered red rose It’s too dear to use and ruin and i think it should be saved for wrapping something to someone else (regifting basically) it’s small enough to not take up too much room … | High quality Body lotion - that does not have chemical fragrances or perfumes or other toxic ingredients Or a good olive oil or blanched almonds w herbs … |
| Evelin | will the person who gave me the gift find out, that I decluttered it? will they come around and wonder where it is? | usually I give consumables but it also depends on the lifestyle of the person. if someone has a huge house with lots of decor and knick-knacks I might give them something small in size (like a necklace, earrings, e.g...). if the person is more of a minimalist, I usually only give them consumables. |
| Ann | I love when I'm inspired in a food way. One Christmas I made spicy pepitas (pumpkin seeds). Another I put together "make your own mole" kits. However, my tastes are odd enough, that I'm not sure if people really engage with what I'm giving them. What I've been wanting to make for awhile is nice fabric gift bags. Give gift bags as a gift. Or make gift bags for gifts, along with a pitch urging folks to pass them forward. | |
| Anonymous user | Strong connection to the grifter; however this item no longer fits my stage of life. I see this person regularly and feel they woukd notice the absence of the item. I know it needs to go. Someone else could be benefitting from it. | Item the receiver has expressed an interest in having. Gift cards I enjoy receiving restaurant gift cards. |
| Gabriella | My friend gave me a fair sized coffee table book for Christmas. It's not exactly the type of content I am interested in. For the time being I am keeping it in the (rather modest) stack of coffe table books displayed in my living room. After resetting my appartment after the big makeover my landlord wants to do next summer, it will - accidentally - have disappeared. (I'm debating with myself whether I am lacking courage and honesty if I handle it this way.) | I usually resort to one of two methods or a combination of these: - I ask my friends what's currently on their wish list in order to give them something they will truly like and use. Sometimes we go shopping for it together, which adds to the fun. - I get them high-quality consumables which I know they love - and might not get for themselves on a daily basis I am happy to get a particular book that's been on my wish list and I let my best friend or my partner know. |
| Anonymous user | Sentimental feelings, guilt, worry that I will regret letting it go. | Give: Consumables, especially ones I have made myself. Receive: same as above, as well as charity donations and gift cards. |
| NM Momma | Jewelry from relatives. I don’t want to be disrespectful to them. | I bring flowers and pet treats to those that have animals. This way when the flowers are done, they can go away-trash, compost. Wholesome pet treats from a pet bakery so my host knows I was thinking of their pets too. |
| Cynthia | A jewelry box that I received for being a bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding. I had it for over 50 years and it was still in good shape. It had held many things over the years. Since I only have boys I figured that no one would want it when I am gone. | I actually like Amazon gift cards. I load them on my account and something always comes up that I need in the fire. I toss the card as soon as I load it. I like to give restaurant gift cards because they are easy to send and I don’t have to box them up to send. |
| Sunny | A recipe box with blank recipe cards from a friend. It is very pretty and I think I will use it one day. | Depends on the recipient. For some who drink I put together ingredients for a cocktail with the recipe. For example, if sangria I will use a wrapped box with no lid (flaps removed), use shredded paper and arrange red wine, triple sec, club soda, and an orange, apple, and lemon. I like gift cards to nurseries since I love to garden, or flower and veg seed packs. |
| Cheryl | I don't want to make the giver , my husband , feel bad. He bought me a gardening chair with wheels, but I find myself standing most of the time. I don't use it and it takes up room in our small garage. He even replaced the tires on it when they were flat - he really wants me to love it. | Concert tickets! |
| Anonymous user | Cash, it never expires like gift cards AND you can spend it at any place you like, even split it between 2 or 3 businesses. I HATE gift cards. I have thrown away at least $1000 worth of gift cards over the years because they either expired or were for places I don't use. I accompany the cash with a nice personalized letter. The problem that many gift givers have is that they give gifts THEY would like to receive and it may not be what the recipient would like. Even if it is a store they like, they either have to spend additional money of their own, or leave money on the card. It's a scam smart businesses came up with so people would think it was a "personalized" gift. Sorry, that is a sore spot with me. | |
| Lenette | It came from someone that is no longer alive. | Flowers that can be thrown away once they die. Usually in unique vases that can be repurposed, recycled, or donated. My favorite gift to receive are flowers in vases I originally gave to someone else. |
| Danetta | We received a beautiful crystal liquor carafe for our wedding 43 years ago from my husband's aunts and uncle. We have never used it. My husband couldn't part with it because of the family tie. I solved the problem by putting it on display in his office so I never have to look at it or have to deal with it. | I like to give zoo memberships, state park memberships, rock climbing memberships to families with kids. I like to give nursery plants or gift certificates to my brother who is an avid gardener. I give restaurant gift certificates or food to others: my favorite coffee, mustard, olive oil, etc. I like to receive restaurant gift certificates--my husband and i like to take friends out to dinner and treat them. |
| Susan | The thing is, I haven't let it go! While it's small, and doesn't take up space, it was given by a dear friend. It isn't "ugly", but it doesn't match the mood of my home. I keep it because of the giver. | To receive, it's practical gifts like stamps (I know, everyone has gone digital but me!) To give, would be either a food consumable or a gift card to suit their own taste. |
| Anonymous user | I was gifted a desktop computer that I did not want. Eventually I replaced it with a laptop. The old one sits under my desk waiting to attack my toes. I need to get the hard drive out and discard the rest, but stores charge to take them now. | Slim books for readers. Gift cards for others. |
| Lela | Can’t let it go because the person who gave it will either ask about it or look for it at my house. | Tickets because I can often buy myself a ticket as well and go with them to a fun event! |
| Anonymous user | It came from a loved one that has passed way | Magazine subscriptions cause they get a gift every month |
| Cee | Flower vase made of colorful "stain glass" from an older family friend who thinks so highly of myself and my family | Gift cards and cards because they are hard to keep track of and therefore at risk of wasted funds. I love digital cards and cash gifts through cash vendors because it goes right into designated account for me to spend anywhere without risk of misplacing and tracking balances |
| Denise | I can’t think of a specific gift but after caring for both my parents during long, difficult illnesses, it was extremely difficult to part with anything belonging to either of them. An example is a kitchen decoration that I didn’t like and wasn’t my style. I kept it on my wall for several years before I was able to finally discard it. It was a process of little by little letting go of things. It gets easier and easier with time. | I like to give a gift card to a person’s favorite restaurant. I like to receive something I can really use. For example, one Christmas I got heated mats for my front steps. They work great and I feel safe not having to navigate slippery steps. |
| Bonnie | Because a sibling bought this for me during a special trip to Europe - I kept these orange earrings for years but only wore them once. I finally parted w them the last time I moved. Never told my brother though! | To give - a gift card to a spa. To receive - the same thing! |
| Lori | Sentimental attachment & fantasy of fashion. | Gift cards, homemade baklava to give. Get is dinner out or gift cards, invitation to a trip or regular event (that is a friend being present and thinking of me) |
| Amanda | One dear relative used to ask me specifically about certain gifts she gave me, years after the fact. She's gone, but when I look at those things, I think of her stories of why those gifts were so special and should be kept forever. The one item that comes to mind, a baby doll purchased for me in China before I was born, is still in my home but not displayed respectfully - it's gathering dust in a doll bassinet in my basement. | I tend to give gift cards, but I feel like it's easy for those to fester in the wallet. When I get gift cards, I feel like I need to use them toward something special, when in reality I could use them on groceries and save my cash. I like receiving fancy hand soap, fresh fruit (honey bells, Harry& David pears), and food (especially foods chosen carefully to suit my dietary restrictions, but really anything I can feed my guests is cool too). And for Pete's sake, no more candles!! |
| Ria | Wonder if I will regret letting it go in a few years. This applies more to sentimental items from family members no longer here. As I have decluttered a lot of items and now down to very few items enters my mind more as I purge to a new level. That said, gifts from friends are easy to release. | To give: take them out to a concert etc or a meal. Also flowering plant or fresh flowers or coffee or tea if I know their favorite. I’ve also given cash with instructions to buy some books or schedule a massage (depending on which they prefer). To receive: the same as I give |
| Celina | things i got from sb i love like my mum | gift cards, food (sweets or pricy jams, pistachio cream, etc fancy stuff), sth themed according to their favourite thing (e.g. my sister loves ducks so anything duck-themed is NOT clutter), art supplies that I know are useful if someone is into the same craft as I am. |
| C | A religious object from a very good friend who is devout. I don't practice any established religion but will keep this object (an angel) out of respect but also due to a bit supertition, as she said it would protect my home. | Almost always chocolates, wine or cookies/pastries, sometimes flowers, as it appeals to my hedonistic tendencies. |
| Annie | My relationship with the giver. The chances that giver will come over to my house and see the gift proudly on display (or the garment worn) The monetary value of the gift | My latest hobby is to wrap a cardboard box in pretty gift wrap, then fill it with pretty and practical things. (Italian dinner ingredients, or festive hand soap, cute spionges, brightly colored rubber gloves ets) |
| Lynn | I used to think that people went to the trouble to invest money, materials, time, energy into selecting or making the item they gifted to me. The least I can do to honor this is keep it rather than regifting, donating or tossing it. My house used to be crowded with this kind of stuff, mostly because I thought of the invested thought and consideration I put into my own gifting and how annoyed I would get when the item wasnt used or kept. I have reframed all that for myself and have been able to more easily let go of gifts that no longer fit into my limits. | Consumables or experiences are my favorites to both give and receive. These can be in the form of something specifically chosen for the person or in the form of a gift card that allows them to spend it on something of their choosing. I like these types of gifts for many reasons. It can create an experience or shopping date between gifter and receiver or can be used at a time more convenient to the individual. |
| Noreen | I only struggle with gifts I have received from people I really care about. Those are hard to release, especially when I see those people often. | Gift Cards or specific items I know they have requested or use often. My favorite gift to receive would be a gift card or hobby related gift. |
| Ginger | ▪️A blue swirl glass vase from my ex-MIL. It’s on my list of sentimental items. I’ve thought of letting it go so many times. But, I can’t yet. It may take a visit to her grave for some type of closure before I can let it go. Maybe I’ll fill the vase with flowers and take it to her grave just for a photo. Then, drop the vase of flowers at a local nursing home. ▪️I write stories about my items and my feelings about them. ▪️The story I wrote about it: See this pretty little vase? My ex-mother-in-law gave it to me in 1979. She bought it on a trip back to her old home place in Tennessee. She had a green vase just like it. I loved my mother-in-law. (And father-in-law.) She was a strong women. Petite. When I divorced her son in 1982 it pained me to never be able to visit with her again. After the divorce I used to call her home just to hear her voice. I wouldn’t talk. I just wanted to hear her voice then I would hang up. (This was just before caller ID.) I finally got past the need to hear her voice. I moved on. Well... a part of me moved on. I still have the vase. It doesn’t fit in with any of my decor. It’s been on the top of my open kitchen cabinets gathering greasy dust until i took it down, cleaned and moved it to my bedroom windowsill - hidden behind a curtain. Like a secret. I should really let this go. Or, get it out and use it with sweet memories of a beautiful relationship I once had with the giver. | ▪️Usually cash. But, I like to fold it origami style. For Father’s Day one year - I didn’t want to give Dad a gift card or some thoughtless gift. He had 8 children and already had everything he needed or wanted. I gave him a $100 bill folded into a shirt & tie. It was in a little homemade box. He said it was the best shirt & tie he ever received. It fit him perfectly. 😁 |
| The Maggs | Guilt. I feel guilty about getting rid of it because the person giving it is either deceased or I think about how much money they spent on it and/or the thought behind it and now I want to get rid of it. | I love to give experiences. Such as money for a trip or restaurant gift card. I try not to give things that would just collect dust. |
| Becky | I struggle with guilt. The person really thought I would use it, and I should. I just won't and I feel really bad about it. What if they come over and they don't see it - ugh! | I like to take people to dinner or lunch - my treat. I get to spend time with my family and friends, and nobody has to feel guilty about getting rid of a gift. I like to receive the same gift. Such a joy that I know twice a year that I will get some one-on-one time with a person I care about. |
| Allison | I used to think I had to keep gifts but one really bad present changed my mind and out it went. A few years ago a relative gave me something because I admired it in a store. Didn't really want to own the item but kept it out of duty. Donated it several months ago figuring I'd kept it long enough. May cause hurt feelings for the relative when they discover it's gone but I'll deal with that then. | Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. We exchange Christmas stockings with consumables - food, stamps, Scotch tape, gas station gift cards, etc. |
| Name (click to view full survey response and comments) | Think about an item that you received as a gift and have struggled to part with. What factors—thoughts, feelings, memories, stories, beliefs, etc.—make (or made) it difficult for you to decide to let this item go? | What’s your favorite clutter-conscious gift to give (for example: gift cards; event tickets; food, drinks, or other consumables; subscriptions; and so on), and why? What’s your favorite clutter-conscious gift to receive, and why? |
