Survey #262 results
| Name (click to view full survey response and comments) | Describe a reality check you’ve experienced as you’ve worked to declutter and organize your home—a moment when you realized that your ideas about stuff were at odds with the reality of your life. | Please share an “Aha!” moment you’ve experienced as you’ve worked to declutter and organize your home—an inspiration or flash of clarity that made the work easier or less emotionally challenging. |
|---|---|---|
| Monica | A little bit different but my reality check was that it will take me longer than planned to declutter. | Listening to the clutter fairy podcast makes decluttering so much easier. |
| TennTheresa | After my mom recently passed, I realized that I do not have the room for both my mother's china and my china. I do not need both sets and am considering just keeping some of both sets. We are tea drivers in our family. My mom preferred her tea in a china cup. However, at no time have I ever needed 12 china cups at one time (now it is 24). Despite loving both patterns, I will determine a umber of cups needed and let the rest go. | |
| Peggy | I bought lots of different shampoos and conditioners and foot lotions and such. I wanted to be the type of person who cared for their hair and feet with these products. But I am NOT the type to make the effort to use hair conditioner or foot lotion. I have actually tossed mostly full items due to them expiring. Going forward, I am trying to be way more intentional in my buying and think about how and what I actually use. | Since I have a wardrobe of things that I like and that fit, I am slow to buy more. I am also slow to adopt things that are castoffs from others unless they are perfect for me size, style, and color wise. I do occasionally adopt something my daughter declutters and some of these items have become favorites. I have also later decided to declutter some of the adopted items. |
| Kathy | I dug out an old sewing machine to finally donate that I'd been saving as a backup for years. I tried to get it to work and realized some internal component was broken. My reality check is that when I hang on to useful items in case of "some day I might need this," they degrade over time and become useless to anyone. It would be better to get them back into circulation so others can use them while they are still good. | Episode 259, Not a Museum: Making Touch Choices About Collections really resonated with me. I had never seen my craft supply as a collection before. I love museums and had recently visited one, so I had a good mental picture of what a museum is for versus what I want my sewing room to be for (usable, creative space). I plan to relisten and take notes as there was so much in it for me to think about as I work to let go of a lot of the stash that I'll never be able to use in my lifetime but that others could use and enjoy now. Thank you for that episode (and all your episodes)! |
| Gabriella | - I own enough books to keep me reading until I'm 90. - If I use up all my yarn, I'll end up with a total of over 20 handknit sweaters. - I'm keeping my outdated skinny jeans stashed away in the back of a drawer "just in case", even though I enjoy wearing wide legged pants. - Even though I've been able to strip a big fat peel of my clutter onion year after year, I've still got a long way to go. | I realized that what essentially supports me in my decluttering process, is to praise myself for whatever I accomplish, instead of seeing it as a failure if things take longer than I had originally planned or expected. For example, in Spring I assumed that decluttering my basement would be fairly straightforward and uncomplicated. During the process I surfaced several boxes of papers and of other objects that I had'nt expected to find, however. Thanks to my mindset of counting everything accomplished as a win and abstaining from thinking in terms of failure, I was able to motivate myself to tackle them one after another without getting discouraged. Even though my basement declutter is taking much longer than I expected, I'm really proud of myself for having been able to substantially reduce a lot of the extra stuff I had found - as well as letting go of many other items that I had originally planned to keep. Whenever I apply reverse decluttering to an area or a "container" that I've thouroughly decluttered before, I am usually able to let go of a lot more. When I feel stuck, seeing myself unable to let go of anything, I can get unstuck by first accepting being stuck and then reflecting in writing on possible first steps. For example, when I felt unable to declutter any more of my remaining 700 books, this method enabled me to come up with a practicable triage algorithm. As a result, I could get rid of another 130 books. What's even more important: I realized that even if I feel severely stuck, I can always get myself unstuck. |
| Em | I realized that the reason my clothes are scattered around my room and blocking my closet and bureau is because the closet and bureau are so tightly packed that little or nothing could be put in or taken out of them. | When I decided to declutter with the goal of safety, it became very clear why hallways are not for storage. I can now run down the hallway without fear of tripping or getting hurt, even in the dark. |
| Anonymous user | When I'm organizing items to use for scrapbooking, DH will here and there remind me, there's no way you can use all of that. I know that this is true, but I'm happy in my process: organizing everything so it's more accessible vs. being stuck in a box. Note: I don't just buy embellishments from the store. I also use graphics and pictures I like wherever I can find them (e.g., magazines which come in the mail, ads...). | When I realized that DH was not going to change, I figured it was best that I learn how to buy groceries for the refrigerator and freezer at a level he could live with. Then I can be free to make a second trip during the week for things we're running out of. |
| Anonymous user | As someone without siblings, a partner, or children, the end of the road of nearly all my stuff is me. Although I don’t have a lot - I live in a studio apartment - there is still much I could reduce, and I might as well just do it now as no one will be receiving it later. | |
| Brenda B. | I kept the majority of my kids school clothes and papers which took up many boxes in my basement until it came time for us to downsize and move across the country. I thought they would like to have their grade school report cards and 3rd grade shadow box of the desert, but I was wrong. The majority of it all went away. It all took up valuable real estate in my house just to go out the door! | My daughter came home to help me declutter and pack for the big move. She gave me the permission I needed to let go of things I was sure she would want. Was such a weight lifted from my shoulders. |
| Linda | I was decluttering to downsize, and Gayle gave a great reality check. She suggested getting a floor plan of the place I’d be moving into and estimate what could comfortably fit based on that. She also suggested that most people have to part with about 75% of their stuff in this situation. Now that I’ve followed that advice and have just recently settled into the new place, I can report that the floor plan was a great reality check (even though it wasn’t for this exact apartment) and that indeed about 25% of the stuff from the house comfortable filled the new apartment. | I was in my late 60s when I realized that a great place to store yarn for future projects was at the yarn store, a great place to store most groceries is at the grocery store, and so forth. Did I not know the meaning of the word store for the first 65 years of my life? |
| Anonymous user | I am an information hoarder. I gather info on decluttering and organizing and cleaning but never DO anything with it. | These jobs/projects rarely take as long as I think they will. |
| Jacqueline | I used to save up all my cleaning and housework for my day off, and it would take me HOURS to get my house back from disaster each time I cleaned. I would never get to the decluttering or even to the fun stuff because I ran out of energy. Dana K White’s book How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind got me onto the idea of doing little bits every day to keep up with mess as it happened instead of doing it all at once. It has saved me so much time. I now have time and energy to declutter, and to do fun stuff like crafting, reading, and jigsaw puzzles. The more I declutter, the less stuff there is to manage and to get messy, so there is even more time for fun stuff. | |
| Sandra | I was keeping things from former jobs and relationships that caused me pain just thinking about them! | The words "Use the good china" finally sunk in. That's when I began decluttering things I did not like and when I actually starting using the good stuff I was saving for later or for special occasions that never happened, |
| Intignia (inn tig (as in pig) knee ah) | My Aha Moment was when I realized that I kept buying new Barbie playsets, dolls, fashions, and houses because I was unable to play with the ones I already had. The floor was piled high with Barbie things so that I couldn't get to my houses or anything to be able to set up my dioramas or play. I needed to stop buying and start playing which meant I needed to get rid of a lot of my newer purchases to be able to access what I already had. | I asked myself "Why did I buy this item?" I bought the playset because I wanted a certain piece of furniture in it, or I bought a doll because I wanted her outfit. So I kept the particular thing I wanted then donated the perfectly good new stuff that I didn't care about. I redressed the dolls in other outfits or created new playsets with the bits I had so it became fun making my own One-of-a-kind items for others to buy. |
| Anonymous user | I realize that it's very possible that I'll die before I finish and I'm determined not to let that happen. I've been a long time viewer of Gayle & Ed and by most standards I am living a Better Homes and Gardens lifestyle as opposed to the near hoarding situation I start in 20 yrs ago. I seem paralyzed for action lately. My energy is so low and my mobility somewhat limited. I have a couple of areas to go and a huge "To Do" list. I just keep thinking...... Do one thing and then do one more thing." "Better is Good" "Atta Girl" "You Got This" My goal is to have the house Estate Sale Ready by the time I go. My gift to those who love me and will have to take care of my house and it's possessions is to leave it as ready for Estate Sale as possible while still living here happily till I go. I'd like to age in place and die at home but We'll see. | I'm Soooooooo much happier without all the stuff I've let go. As you predicted I don't even remember things once they're gone...... So why is it still so hard to let go of the stuff that is still left that is clearly not needed. |
| Danetta | Some decluttering and containing is easy but two categories defy me: yarn storage and books. With dogged effort I can declutter a couple books a month and a couple yarns a year. This means that I can’t contain my books in a chosen container and have to find a secondary container and then a tertiary container. My yarn, likewise, exceeds. The closet space and then exceeds the bookcase and the rest is hidden in collapsible ottomans | I was stuck recently with not being able to declutter anything. Decluttering yarn didn’t work but I had 5 linear feet of knitting books and patterns. I decided to organize them and was able to discard 4 books, 6-7 magazines and maybe 30-40 individual patterns. I’m down to 4 linear feet! Just looking through and dusting that shelf led to my unintentional decluttering. |
| Patty | I have held onto too many dishes, glasses, serving platters, etc based on entertaining parties of 15 instead of now maybe 3. | As I listen to Gayle's podcast, I usually get up afterwards and declutter something. Sometimes even what the tittle calls for! |
| Lisa Beth | I buy a lot of project stuff for family activities and we use about half of it. I need to adjust and/or give some away. | Gayle and Ed have given me and opened my mind to a lot of decluttered mind and stuff attitude adjustments. |
| Jean | I don’t think I buy ‘that’ much, but then I find way too many bottles of vitamins or lotions that I don’t use. Then I throw them away!! | I have started using bowls or dishes that I’ve saved…and realized I don’t like them! The old ones are too heavy. |
| Caren | I realize that once I get started, it's not as hard as I imagine. It's the getting started that's the hard part for me. I make a lot more progress than I think I will and get on a roll. Even if I just do a little bit, I feel good about it! | I remember two things. My mother said that helped me. First, "if there was a fire, would I miss this?" When I go through things, I remember, but is it's so important that I actually miss it? Second, when I'm afraid of letting go of something she gave me, I remember the gift of her saying "if it gave you pleasure when I gave it to you, it's served its purpose!" |
| Evelin | I like to buy organizers before I know what I want to use them for. | Watching hoarders and videos on minimalism on YouTube. Also we are always changing and evolving, nothing ever stays the same, so there's nothing you have to keep forever. |
| Carla | My aha moment hit me when I turned 70 and realised I probably only have a good 10, hopefully 15 years left to decide on stuff. Better do it now when I still have most of my mental and physical abilities. | A few of my older (in age) friends died not too long ago and when I meet their spouses, some want to move, they tell me how difficult it is to dispose of all the stuff they had, how they should have done so earlier. |
| Lise | Reality check - the realization my children do not want any "family heirlooms". | My "Aha!" moment the understanding I have to be the "baddie" and end the generational guilt of stuff. My children will not have the guilt however, I do not want to burden anyone with having to deal with unnecessary things once I am gone. |
| Amy | * I finally realize that I will never turn our double closet-full of stacked boxed filled with photos into Creative Memory photo albums for each of my five adult kids. Two albums, beautifully made and captioned, were made in 1999 and 2000. I have ALL the supplies (specialty stickers, acid-free albums, special scissors, punchout units, etc.) in order to make albums for each of five kids, my husband and myself, and both sets of grandparents. Yet I have only done two! and that was 25 years ago! I keep dragging it all around from move to move. Now that I am a grandma, myself, I think I need to realize that it will NEVER happen. | * An older friend had to clear her mother's immaculate (and very full-of-stuff) five-story house, which the wealthy mother had lived in for over 60 years. My friend said that, even though the things were pristine and valuable, there was just too much of it. At the auction, buyers were walking away with furniture worth hundreds or thousands of dollars for just pennies on the dollar. The estate sale didn't financially benefit the heirs (as the deceased believed it would) because no one had the time or ability to market items and obtain even a decently-partial value of things. The clearing out of that house was so time-consuming and emotionally draining for my friend and her family. Seeing my friend's stress taught me that I do not want my kids to have to go through any type of that physical and emotional stress. |
| Leslie | Realizing how much time, money, and especially mental and physical energy that owning and maintaining stuff takes. The more I declutter and simplify, the more energy I have and feel lighter. | Gayle's idea about keeping ikea bag in closet for donations in closet. Ikea's canvas bag is the perfect size, anything more is too heavy to carry. When it's full, that is my cue to do a drop off at the donation center. |
| Lela | I realized last year that I always felt tired & overloaded because all my hobbies involved taking care of living things, which can be demanding. So, I simplified the yard, decluttered 2/3 of my houseplants, & got rid of my aquarium. My dog passed away last week, also, & I do not plan to adopt another dog. It feels like I have a lot less chores now, but I think that is partly because if a chore does not involve a living thing, it is easier to procrastinate on doing the chore. | I wanted to live lighter after seeing family members deal with a lifetime of items left behind after loved ones passed away. |
| Jeanne | Said goodbye to my last ever pair of heels. I cannot even wear low heels or wedges anymore 🥲 | Hubs passed away almost two years ago. |
| Ruth | I was holding on to my past by saving things. | Realizing I should surround myself with things I currently use or enjoy. |
| Kit | Two quotes from Dana K White: - "You can keep anything; you just can't keep everything." Lots of stuff has to go. - "My house is not a project," which is to say that I'm never going to get my house perfectly decluttered, organized, and cleaned like a museum and then keep it that way after that. My house is actually a dynamic maintenance task, so I can let go of perfection and aim for better, a bit at a time. | Rereading those 80- to 100-year-old romance novels that I inherited made me realize that they are actually very sexist and racist. No one needs to keep them - not even me! |
| Ginger | 🔲 We’ve experienced several “Reality Checks” as we’ve aged, as my husband’s physical abilities became limited and as our diets changed. ✔️1. Hubby used to cook & eat a lot. Now, our diets are more simplified. ▪️We don’t need as many kitchen items. ▪️We don’t need a lot of food. ✔️2. We’ve decided “how much is enough” on many categories. ▪️We don’t need as much storage furniture. Time to get rid of furniture we don’t need. Tables with drawers. Big dresser. ✔️3. We can’t clean house the way we used to. It takes more time. ▪️We need less furniture to dust. ▪️We need less carpet. ✔️4. We don’t have the energy or interest in the animals we’ve acquired on our property. ▪️We need to rehome some animals on this “farm”. (Goats, geese, turkeys, ducks, chickens and a pot-bellied pig named Diesel. Diesel stays.) ▪️We’re paying neighbor kids to look after them for us. 🔲 Changes in progress. ▪️We’ve got food in check. We order food once a week. We rotate older food into the weekly menu. It’s a “Just Do It!” move. ▪️We have a plan to update the house with paint, flooring, furniture. Waiting on our handyman to finish another job. ▪️We need to work on rehoming animals. Especially goats! | ▪️Funny thing. I wrote this “Aha!” Moment in February this year. It’s been in my Notes. ▪️I realized something about myself. I save things for “another time” instead of making time for them now. Things like: Foods, Dishes, Self-Care Products, Linens. ▪️I think it may be a perfectionist thing. “I can’t use this unless I… do certain other things - or plan the time to do it.” This week I pulled things out. I’ve donated a lot - but I’m using things or deciding I don’t want them any longer. ▪️My goal is 100% turnover. Use it or lose it. Cook the steak. Use the special wine glass to drink the Prosecco. Use the guest linens - it’ll soften them. Slather the lotion on my feet. Use up those masks for face, hands and feet. |
| C | I own a lot of tools and supplies (I bought or saved) for projects I’ll probably never realize. I keep thinking one day I will start on it, years go by and stuff is still in bins or boxes. One example: lots of cardboard egg boxes for a paper maché idea. Another: old maps to cover shoe boxes to turn them into gift boxes. | Aha sad moment: realising that many of the children's books I bought or saved for future grandchildren won't be fulfilling this hope. Am now slowly giving these away to other relatives and friends that have small children and grandchildren. Same for many of the toys I saved. |
| Millie | I had too many plates, bowls, and flatware in my kitchen. A lot of it never got used. I know this because when the dishwasher was FULL my cabinets and drawers were STILL FULL too. So I removed the extra stuff, limiting the amount of plates, bowls, drinking glasses, etc. I have in my kitchen. (I did it without telling the rest of the family and nobody has even noticed.) It's such a relief to have less stuff to deal with. I donated the extras. | I had a ukulele that I was given as a gift. When I received it, I was very motivated to learn to play it and spent time learning a few chords. For close to a year I would set aside time to play the ukelele for 10-15 minutes every day. At some point I stopped, though. I wasn't improving (my fingers are too slow moving) and I could tell I was not gifted musically to play an instrument. As the years passed, I'd look at that ukulele occasionally and feel crappy about myself. I recently decided to let it go. I'm retired and I want to spend the time I have left doing things I enjoy, not forcing myself to re-learn something that frustrated me the first time around. I'm glad I gave the ukulele a shot, even if I never mastered it. |
| Anja | I am able to declutter but there are always things that make me stumble for emotional reasons and I realized that some things stirr up a lot of emotions and partially serious grief. | I can keep representative examples and that will be enough for me. My work life is a season that is over now and I can get rid of stuff that is related to that. My life changes. |
| L | I realized that I inherited or was gifted more items than I actually bought for myself. | Realizing that I would only read a book once, unless it was a book I would refer back to like a how-to book, allowed me to donate most of my books. I got a library card and now check out the books that I want to read. |
| Lynn | My reality check is in admitting to myself that i am older than dirt and must give up some of my stubborn independence because I just can't physically keep a high level of home maintenance anymore and need to hire occasional help to keep it in a satisfactory condition. I also need to focus on ways to reduce the need for constant maintenance, such as replacing some gardening areas with hardscape instead of constantly weeding, and purchasing robot vacuums instead of failing to keep the floors at a constant state of cleanliness myself. | I was holding on to several generations of family photos and letters thinking they contained an important history. I finally realized that just because I am the last one standing, it doesnt mean the responsibility for all of it falls on me. Preserving it compared to the very small interested audience was not worth the effort. Instead, I spent a month browsing through it all and tossed all but a handful of items meaningful to me. I made a framed collage of them for my wall and cleared out the other 8 boxes of photos and letters. The feeling of a cathartic release was healing. |
| Cathie | I kept all sorts of items from my parents, & other sentimental things for years. At age 70, I started doing more downsizing. After eliminating only 5 or 10% total, I suddenly realized that most, if not all, of those things angered me. I felt the urge to pitch it all. | After resisting the urge to pitch it all, after getting angry at sentimental stuff, it occurred that I wasn't on a short deadline. Oh, most of it still had to go, but I could take my time, now that I knew I could let the unwanted things go. |
| Anne | I realized that people really weren't that concerned about how clean my house was. They just enjoyed being included! | I realized that I rarely remembered or missed the items I gave away. Also, Gayle's image of returning items to the "river of stuff" was helpful to send things downstream. 🙂 |
| Margaret | I realized that all the senimental items i was keeping from my family were storing mountains of sadness after they passes on. | i realized that i dont have enough energy left to craft now and keeping the collection was making me feel like i had more unfinished business to take care of. |
| Name (click to view full survey response and comments) | Describe a reality check you’ve experienced as you’ve worked to declutter and organize your home—a moment when you realized that your ideas about stuff were at odds with the reality of your life. | Please share an “Aha!” moment you’ve experienced as you’ve worked to declutter and organize your home—an inspiration or flash of clarity that made the work easier or less emotionally challenging. |
