Survey #257—Full Response from Ann
| Pronouns | She/her |
|---|---|
| How have your ideas, attitudes, and behaviors around clutter changed over the course of your adult life? Do you have a higher or lower threshold for what counts as “clutter”? | I have a higher thresh hold for what counts as clutter for sure. Right now it's too much and feels unmanageable. But my vision is to have a rich full house with lots of the items I love all around us — books, bowls, photographs, items from travels like the Guatemalan pompoms hanging from our dining room overhead lampshade. |
| Do you find it easier or harder to declutter and organize as time goes by? Are there categories of stuff that get easier to manage? Are there categories that get harder to manage? | It has gotten harder. Mainly because I used to live in small spaces as a young person, and move pretty frequently. I inherited my childhood home in 2011, and I'm quite unwilling to go fast in the throw out process there. It has definitely gotten better since my parents died — what is of value is either sorted, or more visible, less everything mixed together. My husband and I bought our first home in 2015 (we were in our 50s), and in these 10 years, it has gotten quite full! |
| Think about the person in your life who’s had the most impact on your decluttering and organizing, or the person whose own clutter creates the most impact on you. This may be a spouse, partner, roommate, child, parent, another member of your household, or someone outside your household or family. How have this person’s ideas, attitudes, and behaviors around clutter—or the way their stuff affects you—changed over the course of your relationship? | I lived either solo or with roommates until I married at age 49. Now I've been married 14 years, so I'd say my husband is the most influential clutter partner in my life. Always before, with roommates, I was the messy one. Now I'm the less messy one! Pretty nice. I have more compassion for him, because I know how it feels not to have the cleaning impulse and know-how, and for others to be aggrieved. Also, he's got some mental health issues that are a factor, so that helps me not get as bugged. Also, we're not THAT different from each other, thank goodness. |
| If you could ask for one small change in someone else’s behavior that would improve the state of your home, what would it be? | Actually, the first things in getting our life in order would be to manage our money more clearly and calmly. I used to be quite good at this, but have fallen away, with my partner's struggles. And our food and eating. We both are in and out on this one. Funny, the house feels so primary. But when I think of us together, I think of other things. Maybe I see the house as being my project more? But we do so much better when we help each other. So I'm not clear on this one. Right now, I guess my Ask with the house would be that we both get involved with *developing* and *learning* systems. I'm more the one who will try to come up with systems. (To organize & recycle the types of plastics. The shelves on the fridge door. Which books go on which bookshelves. How we store pantry items.) Then he doesn't really know or remember them. Which makes sense, since he didn't figure them out. But it can be a tense moment when I point out a system which he isn't following. |
| Here’s your chance to ask Gayle and Ed any question you’re curious about. It need not be related to this survey’s topic(s). If we think that your question—and our answer—might be useful or instructive to The Clutter Fairy Weekly audience, we’ll share them in an upcoming episode. | I'm aware that I'm an "abundance" person. I like lots of things — not pricey things, just dear things. I don't WANT to get rid of a lot of stuff. I don't think I'm a hoarder. But my house is still not like I want. It feels unmanageable. Also, I very frequently won't use some for YEARS, and then it becomes my new favorite thing. Like the loose silky dress I bought and never wore. "Come on Ann," I said more than once. "You never wear that dress. Give it to City Thrift!" But I didn't. Then I gained 20 pounds. Okay 25 pounds. And that dress is so perfect. I'm so glad I didn't throw it away. Part of the bottom line is that I have trouble figuring out what future me will and won't need and want. I see this in packing over and over again. I often wear the same clothes over and over on a trip. But I can't predict WHICH clothes that will be. When I forget to take something — like how I forgot to take a shawl, and that's the perfect thing to fling on and off easily with the rapidly changing temperatures of the Southwest sun and shade — I have trouble just making due with the large suitcase of items I did bring. That's packing, but I think it is part of the same dilemma. What are steps and mindsets for folks like me? |
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