Survey #255—Full Response from Kit
| Pronouns | They/them |
|---|---|
| Is there a room or space in your home that you don’t love or that you tend to avoid using—or even entering? What factors contribute to your distaste for or lack of enjoyment of this space? | Garage: Large pieces of clutter make it hard to maneuver and function. (We are planning to rent a truck to haul stuff away within the next 2-3 weeks. I'm so looking forward to that!) |
| Do you have regrets about anything that you’ve discarded or given away in your decluttering process? If you answered yes, how do you manage negative feelings about your choice? If you answered no, to what do you credit your satisfaction with the choices you’ve made? | Dana K White talks about how people whose houses are always under control choose to live with the possibility of regret instead of clutter. She also advises to *not* start with the hard stuff, the sentimental stuff. That's a mistake that I made. When I was graduating high school back in the 1980s, my mom took me to a factory seconds store to select formal tableware for the cedar hope chest that my great-uncle made for me. It was delicate white with a white filigree border and silver rim. I loved that set so much! I envisioned many dinner parties with our college friends, business colleagues, and children's friends' parents, as well as holiday dinners over the decades. That didn't happen. Our college friends moved across the country, we got close to no coworkers, and our kids were as introverted as we were. We had one set of parents over once and didn't really mesh with them. Also, my mother-in-law gave me all the formal dinnerware and serving dishes that her ancestors had been collecting! I used my own dishes when my extended family was over for holidays (virtually never), and the heirloom dishes when the in-laws came for holidays (all the time). Then my family moved away, we moved house, and my dishes never left the garage. Almost 3 years ago, I started decluttering. Not having heard Dana yet, I decided to tackle the thing that was giving me the most angst. Sobbing, I donated my formal dishes. Six months later, I realized that I could have alternated the sets of dishes seasonally - heirloom for spring/summer and mine for fall/winter. But they were gone! I kicked myself about once a month over it. But I kept decluttering less emotional things. After another year, I started thinking about replacing my dishes for fall/winter special occasions. I looked for something very similar, but those are expensive – way out of my price range! So I shifted to looking for anything I might like now that fit the fall/winter vibe and found lots that I liked. Eventually settling on Pfaltzgraff Winterberry, I bought 6 table settings and requested 1 covered serving bowl as a gift. I also got a matching set of vintage coasters from eBay. My mother-in-law was so thrilled to give me that serving bowl, and so enthusiastic about the new dishes and coasters! She never once said a thing about how we weren't using the heirloom dishes. Later, I donated several boxes of heirloom dishes that we never used, keeping a couple of boxes of the ones we do use and like for spring and summer. This year, I'm doing an entire year of nostalgic decor and dishes for the in-laws, who are getting on in years. I've been pulling out all the things that I've been thinking about decluttering, but haven't made up my mind about yet. I've also pulled out childhood photos which feature some of those items, as well as other seasonal nostalgic photos. My in-laws loved seeing my husband and myself as little tykes at Easter, as well as our own bitty ones with their basket and stuffy! This season, I also donated 3 more boxes of heirloom dishes which I would never have bought in the first place. Hutch is still full of ones we're trying out this spring and summer, to see what makes the cut for next year. After this, we'll have a much better sense of which sentimental, heirloom things my adult children and I like to have around and are willing to manage, and which we're not. That should make it much easier to make progress on the garage without feeling either fear or regret! |
| Here’s your chance to ask Gayle and Ed any question you’re curious about. It need not be related to this survey’s topic(s). If we think that your question—and our answer—might be useful or instructive to The Clutter Fairy Weekly audience, we’ll share them in an upcoming episode. | For one who is laid off and trying to balance decluttering and not knowing if they'll have money for the just right replacement in future, do you have any strategies or mindsets that can help one move forward in a flexible, dynamic, problem-solving way? I'm doing my best here, but would love any advice. |
| Future topics | Decluttering and Organizing When You're Broke One thing I notice is that all the added, unfamiliar tasks of Unemployment, job search, and new frugality measures have greatly lowered my clutter threshold; I have lots less patience and capacity for managing clothes in my closet, papers on my desk, or boxes of stuff in my garage. I want it out! But I'm also already so overwhelmed and tired that it's hard to find the time and energy to get rid of things in a methodical way. I find myself angrily dumping things in the Donation Box when the Fed Up feeling hits, rather than working deliberately. Maybe that's fine, and I guess it's inevitable that this too shall pass. We went through a similar period of intense long-term stress during the pandemic and came out the other side. I'd say it's scary not knowing what the future holds, but that's our Actual State our entire lives, isn't it? I'm just more acutely aware of it right now. Anyway, if you have any wisdom for navigating our way through this period, I'd be grateful to hear it. |
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